Here I am, laying on my bed, wearing ruby red lipstick and thinking what to write about. There is no special reason why I wear red lipstick at the moment except I got excited when I actually found it after I was looking for it for days … meanwhile, I removed the lipstick and thought of something to blog about – boys. This is a subject I can always blog about. Probably because of my poor experience with them so I can approach the matter on the more observatory-ish level.
Ok, so in the past I have talked about boys and my inability to make one fall in love with me. Maybe I shouldn’t think of it as inability yet more as a God’s plan for me. Since the last post of this kind I haven’t met anyone toward whom I had even the slightest higher level attraction. I’ve been going out and NOT to find boys ’cause these are the places I am not sure I will meet the right guy but, I go there anyways. Oh, and surprise surprise – not many boys bothered to look at me, like, in a interested kinda way. That behavior of the local-town-boys has become too funny not to laugh. Seriously, I stand there and think to myself Of course they are not looking, haha. I can almost notice God’s humor when it comes to this one saying Don’t look around, you KNOW he will come when and where I say it! That is how I feel when going out. As if God is trying to say to me that I won’t find the real thing there. And I’m always like, well yeah but what if that guy is feeling the same as I feel and he just came here for no reason, too? Anyways, I have let go of everything and sometimes I even caught myself not wanting to meet anyone. Haha. How crazy is this?! I really do believe and hold on to God’s plan for my romantic life, for the real love. Yep, I do think sacred marriage is the real thing.
Okay, some may say Yeah, she is just saying that to make herself feel better because she hasn’t had boyfriends. But, I am telling you, with my clear conscience – I am glad I have poor experience with boys. I have seen relationships of other people, bad relationships that are based on the wrong setting grounds. And why would I want that? Why would anyone want that? I know a lot people are just confused, the world expects them to act in a certain way, to have as much boyfriends as they can because that is how you get experienced! For what? I don’t judge but I wish everyone could feel the way I feel! Me, who always has been Ines and not Ines & [insert boy name]. I wish everyone could feel the hope I am feeling about the one I am going to love in the future. Remember, God always offers a way out for you, ALWAYS! No matter what you have done in your life.
Seriously, man! When I meet the guy I will throw a parade, here on blog! I will make HIM write a blog post telling you guys how lucky he is. Right? Haha! Maybe I should make him hold a piece of paper saying I am the one she has been waiting for! so you guys wouldn’t think I’m lying. Haha!
I wish I had posts such as these to read when I was 20. They would have saved me from a lot of confusion and low self-esteem issues that were worse than the ones I am experiencing right now. I wish there was someone telling me that my single years are here for me to make the best of them. To read, to take photos, to develop as a person so the right one would be like Wow! I wanna get to know her! And not because of the way I look but of the way I am. Maybe I have known all these things since forever, somewhere buried at the back of my brain but neglected them, for some reason.
If you are a girl who is stressing over not having a boyfriend, don’t feel bad. I know it is hard. I know those lonely nights when your friends are out and enjoying, you are home with a book or just watching TV with your folks, trust me, there is a reason for that! I will never regret things I have done instead of going out on those Saturday nights. I will never regret a single page of Jane Austen that kept me away from desperately trying to find a guy. Remember, that guy won’t appear out of desperation because I think it is meant for him to appear as a reward. You both will be rewards for each other. God bless you (both). Good night.